In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese with an electric mixer on medium speed until smooth and fluffy.
Add in sweetened condensed milk, pudding mix, milk and vanilla extract.
Mix until combined well.
Finally, stir in half of the whipped topping.
To layer: place one-third of the vanilla wafers in a layer on the bottom of a trifle dish, large bowl or a 9x13 baking dish.
Add a layer of bananas.
Then pour one-third of the pudding mixture on top (enough to cover all the bananas).
Continue with two more layers.
Top with remaining whipped topping.
Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least one to two hours before serving so it can thicken up and the wafers can soften.
Cook's Notes: Keep your mixer on low speed at first so the milk doesn't fly everywhere. Also, if you are using a stand mixer, make sure you get in there with a rubber spatula and scrape down the sides and bottom of the bowl to make sure everything is getting incorporated. That cream cheese likes to stay on the bottom of the bowl. I find that it can sometimes become a bit lumpy (especially if my cream cheese isn't soft enough). If this happens to you, just keep mixing until most of the lumps are gone. After a few minutes of constant mixing, it will smooth out.