In between my longwinded answer, I thought I'd weave in some of my most popular recipes to entice you to get all the way to the bottom...or not. No pressure. Just click on the photo and it will take you to the recipe. 🙂
I'm a blogger. I'm not a published author. I am not a television personality. I am a blogger. There ya go. That's it. The follow-up questions from most people are usually:
"So when are you writing a cookbook?"
"Have you been on television?"
"Are you going to open up a restaurant or bakery?"
"Do you do catering?"
And my answers to all of those questions are "Um, no." And sometimes the look of disappointment appears and sometimes they just lose interest and we move on.
I have lots of friends in this field - thankfully! Many are becoming successful cookbook authors or successful do-it-yourself authors. They are going on television shows and in general, becoming kinda famous. And I know them! How crazy is that?! I'm honored and thrilled and (insert amazing adjectives here) to be in their world.
But...there's always a but, right? Not me. I don't want that for me. Some opportunities have come and gone and each time I kept finding a way to not make it happen.
I think there has been a part of me, maybe subconsciously, that is fighting back against what others are telling me I should be doing. My whole life, I've heard about what is considered "successful" and what isn't.
Becoming a doctor, lawyer, entrepreneur (insert job that gives you a title and keeps you financially secure here) = successful.
Becoming a published author (like on paper, not on the internets) = successful.
Being on television so all of the world knows how amazing you are too = successful.
Here's the thing. I have no desire for any of that. I really don't. It might not sound real because so many people would *love* that. But it's just not for me. I have no desire to be on television or have a cooking show. Not at all. I have no desire to spend every waking day and night trying to write, create and photograph a cookbook.
I really do not want to open a restaurant or do catering. Do y'all know how hard it is to running a restaurant or to do catering? I'm not afraid of hard work but it's nothing I will ever do.
I don't want to psychoanalyze myself too much (because, ick, scary) but I imagine a part of me started blogging to get some of that praise that I desperately wanted for many years as a kid. At the time, I didn't know it would come with lots of insults too. Who knew people would get so upset over sweet tea? Not me.
So here it goes. My reasons include: because it's expensive. It is very expensive to publish a book. Unless you have a larger publishing house willing to cover that whole expense while ALSO giving you an advance paycheck, it's not worth it financially. Besides, I could never keep up this website while also writing a photographing an entire cookbook myself.
You also have to go on television and go on book tours to promote the book. There is so much more than just writing and photographing the entire book. You have to travel to promote it, and I'll be blunt, I don't like being away from my family and my daily routine. I'm a hermit and an introvert and I like the comfort of staying right where I'm at. I'm not much on interacting with a lot of people.
Again, these are my reasons. I can't speak for anyone else at all. I would be doing this for a title: author. Nothing more. I would be doing this to make other people feel more comfortable about what I am doing with my life. I would be doing this for praise and if I'm really being honest, I would be doing it for my own ego.
And no matter how much I said to myself "My readers have been really wanting me to write a cookbook and I want to give the people what they want!" I would know, deep down, in my soul, that I would be doing it to please everyone else. And I just can't.
In my forty five plus years on this earth, I am finally learning who I am. Who God created me to be. And I have to know that it is enough. To be fulfilled with this blessing He has given me. To reach so many amazing women (and there's a few guys in there too) through the internet. I mean, how crazy is that?
I'm a Momma. I'm a wife. I'm a helluva supporter for women. All women. I like sharing recipes. Simple ones that makes that person on the other side of a computer or phone screen (who is busy living their life and following their dreams)feel like a rock star. Even if just for a moment. That is our connection to each other.
And each day I will pinch myself that God brought me here.
And I hope I will never make others feel "less than" because they really wanted to make something yummy for their new boyfriend but they can barely make ramen noodle soup. And they will know, out there in the world, that there is another hot mess, just like them, trying to get through a day in this life with a little bit of happiness and joy in whatever way we can find it.
I know that behind every comment there are maybe a hundred more from folks that just didn't have the time (or want) to say anything but I know they are there. Because they come back.
They come back.
And I come back.
And that is enough.
I am enough. Just me. Just Brandie. Just this blogger that makes food. Nobody special except in the eyes of God.
There are many things I am not: I am not a chef, I am not a professional writer, I am not that great at parenting (or at wife-ing), I am not good at dieting, I am not a runner, I am not great at eating healthy and I'm not above using swear words when the need arises.
But I am enough. The world is great at telling us what we are not. It's up to us to tell ourselves what we are. I am a fast thinker. I am really good in an emergency. I will always be there for the people that need me. I am good at creating recipes. I am fulfilled in blogging. And that is enough.
You are enough. Just you. Not you with a fancy title. Just you being you. Who you were created to be. It's odd that we have to "fight" to be us. But that is the truth of it.
Thank you for being you.
Thank you for coming here. Helping me to be me and do what I love. For letting me be enough with these internet recipes.
And that's why I don't have a published cookbook. Because this blog is enough. You, being here, grabbing recipes - it's enough.
I also don't know what the future holds. I might write an e-book.
And yes, it will be something published on the internet, not an actual book. Because that is something I can afford to do and may have time to do and want to do. And it won't bring me fame or fortune or be on a best-sellers list. I won't have anything to pull out at parties and show everyone. Besides, I don't host parties anyways. But it will be totally me. No editors. No filtering. Just me. And that will be enough.
And by the way: blogging is totally cool to teenagers and twenty-somethings. They grew up in that world. So I'm thinking by the time I am a Grandma, I will be like the coolest Grandma ever to my grandkids. So, there's always that to look forward to. 🙂
And if you made it to the end of this post - thank you. I appreciate you more than words can say.