In between my longwinded answer, I thought I'd weave in some of my most popular recipes to entice you to get all the way to the bottom...or not. No pressure. Just click on the photo and it will take you to the recipe. 🙂
I'm a blogger. I'm not a published author. I am not a television personality. I am a blogger. There ya go. That's it. The follow-up questions from most people are usually:
"So when are you writing a cookbook?"
"Have you been on television?"
"Are you going to open up a restaurant or bakery?"
"Do you do catering?"
And my answers to all of those questions are "Um, no." And sometimes the look of disappointment appears and sometimes they just lose interest and we move on.
I have lots of friends in this field - thankfully! Many are becoming successful cookbook authors or successful do-it-yourself authors. They are going on television shows and in general, becoming kinda famous. And I know them! How crazy is that?! I'm honored and thrilled and (insert amazing adjectives here) to be in their world.
But...there's always a but, right? Not me. I don't want that for me. Some opportunities have come and gone and each time I kept finding a way to not make it happen.
I think there has been a part of me, maybe subconsciously, that is fighting back against what others are telling me I should be doing. My whole life, I've heard about what is considered "successful" and what isn't.
Becoming a doctor, lawyer, entrepreneur (insert job that gives you a title and keeps you financially secure here) = successful.
Becoming a published author (like on paper, not on the internets) = successful.
Being on television so all of the world knows how amazing you are too = successful.
Here's the thing. I have no desire for any of that. I really don't. It might not sound real because so many people would *love* that. But it's just not for me. I have no desire to be on television or have a cooking show. Not at all. I have no desire to spend every waking day and night trying to write, create and photograph a cookbook.
I really do not want to open a restaurant or do catering. Do y'all know how hard it is to running a restaurant or to do catering? I'm not afraid of hard work but it's nothing I will ever do.
I don't want to psychoanalyze myself too much (because, ick, scary) but I imagine a part of me started blogging to get some of that praise that I desperately wanted for many years as a kid. At the time, I didn't know it would come with lots of insults too. Who knew people would get so upset over sweet tea? Not me.
So here it goes. My reasons include: because it's expensive. It is very expensive to publish a book. Unless you have a larger publishing house willing to cover that whole expense while ALSO giving you an advance paycheck, it's not worth it financially. Besides, I could never keep up this website while also writing a photographing an entire cookbook myself.
You also have to go on television and go on book tours to promote the book. There is so much more than just writing and photographing the entire book. You have to travel to promote it, and I'll be blunt, I don't like being away from my family and my daily routine. I'm a hermit and an introvert and I like the comfort of staying right where I'm at. I'm not much on interacting with a lot of people.
Again, these are my reasons. I can't speak for anyone else at all. I would be doing this for a title: author. Nothing more. I would be doing this to make other people feel more comfortable about what I am doing with my life. I would be doing this for praise and if I'm really being honest, I would be doing it for my own ego.
And no matter how much I said to myself "My readers have been really wanting me to write a cookbook and I want to give the people what they want!" I would know, deep down, in my soul, that I would be doing it to please everyone else. And I just can't.
In my forty five plus years on this earth, I am finally learning who I am. Who God created me to be. And I have to know that it is enough. To be fulfilled with this blessing He has given me. To reach so many amazing women (and there's a few guys in there too) through the internet. I mean, how crazy is that?
I'm a Momma. I'm a wife. I'm a helluva supporter for women. All women. I like sharing recipes. Simple ones that makes that person on the other side of a computer or phone screen (who is busy living their life and following their dreams)feel like a rock star. Even if just for a moment. That is our connection to each other.
And each day I will pinch myself that God brought me here.
And I hope I will never make others feel "less than" because they really wanted to make something yummy for their new boyfriend but they can barely make ramen noodle soup. And they will know, out there in the world, that there is another hot mess, just like them, trying to get through a day in this life with a little bit of happiness and joy in whatever way we can find it.
I know that behind every comment there are maybe a hundred more from folks that just didn't have the time (or want) to say anything but I know they are there. Because they come back.
They come back.
And I come back.
And that is enough.
I am enough. Just me. Just Brandie. Just this blogger that makes food. Nobody special except in the eyes of God.
There are many things I am not: I am not a chef, I am not a professional writer, I am not that great at parenting (or at wife-ing), I am not good at dieting, I am not a runner, I am not great at eating healthy and I'm not above using swear words when the need arises.
But I am enough. The world is great at telling us what we are not. It's up to us to tell ourselves what we are. I am a fast thinker. I am really good in an emergency. I will always be there for the people that need me. I am good at creating recipes. I am fulfilled in blogging. And that is enough.
You are enough. Just you. Not you with a fancy title. Just you being you. Who you were created to be. It's odd that we have to "fight" to be us. But that is the truth of it.
Thank you for being you.
Thank you for coming here. Helping me to be me and do what I love. For letting me be enough with these internet recipes.
And that's why I don't have a published cookbook. Because this blog is enough. You, being here, grabbing recipes - it's enough.
I also don't know what the future holds. I might write an e-book.
And yes, it will be something published on the internet, not an actual book. Because that is something I can afford to do and may have time to do and want to do. And it won't bring me fame or fortune or be on a best-sellers list. I won't have anything to pull out at parties and show everyone. Besides, I don't host parties anyways. But it will be totally me. No editors. No filtering. Just me. And that will be enough.
And by the way: blogging is totally cool to teenagers and twenty-somethings. They grew up in that world. So I'm thinking by the time I am a Grandma, I will be like the coolest Grandma ever to my grandkids. So, there's always that to look forward to. 🙂
And if you made it to the end of this post - thank you. I appreciate you more than words can say.
Christi
Dear Brandie,
I know you aren't seeking the praise of man but only of our Lord! HOWEVER, thank you for your honest words that resonate so well with me. I feel them and understand them and the shower is my safe place, my secret prayer room :). Thank you for being brave and sharing your testimony!
Blessings,
Christi Cerwinsky
Brandie @ The Country Cook
You warmed my hear today Christi! Thank you for taking the time to read that whole post - ha! It really means so much to read your sweet words!
Bonnie Owen
Hi Brandie, Just read your comments about why you don't have a print cookbook out. You spoke for millions when you spoke those words. I'm with you. There's too much pressure to be this, be that, be everything to everybody. I've been following your blog for years now, and I love your recipes and your comments. I don't feel the need to visit other sites for recipes; yours are consistently the best. Thanks for all the work you do to keep everything running. You are enough; me too!
Brandie @ The Country Cook
So much love and hugs to you Bonnie! Thank you for taking the time to leave such a sweet & supportive comment! It means so much!
Dianne Johnson
After spending a L O N G time not cooking very much, (I never really liked to cook, but did for my children) I have re-married, retired, and just do NOT know what to cook or how to cook it!!!!!! Thank you for your full instructions on how and what to cook. LOVE YOUR SUPPORT.
Jeanne D
Brandie........
I just wanted to say I LOVE your comments on life --- they are so true.
I really do enjoy your website and enjoy the emails I receive each week from you.
Thank you so much!
Brandie @ The Country Cook
Thanks so much Jeanne! And thank you so very much for being here!
Darlene
Hi Brandie, thanks for sharing you and your heart so openly. It was a huge blessing to me and I’m working on this same journey. This is the first of your blogs I have read, but I sure will be reading more! And I just LOVE your recipes! I have made many and get excited when I find one I haven’t tried. God is using you in many peoples’ lives and what could be better than that.
Debby - Southern Home Express
Hi Brandie. I just finished reading this wonderful, heart-felt blog post, and now I'm sitting here wiping the tears off my cheek with the edge of my sleeve. You struck a chord--no, make that several chords--with me. The more I read your post the more I felt as though someone was writing about me. I'm sure a lot of people feel that way. I know that you wrote this 4+ years ago, but it's timeless and so relevant, even today. I went through life trying to live up to what others thought I should be. It took me a very long time to finally figure out what I truly wanted. When my good friend and blogger (Julie from Back to My Southern Roots) encouraged (twisted my arm) to share my many recipes on a blog, I finally gave in (after a couple of years). It took a long time with zero income and hearing people ask me why I was still doing it before I saw even a hint that I might be successful. But it's a labor of love and something that is mine. I might be in my mid-60s, but I feel like a child who has just found a wonderful treasure that delivers so much satisfaction. I love getting messages from people who didn't realize that they could actually cook an entire meal that their family would actually eat ... and now they know they can. Or hearing that someone can come home after a long day at work and put a meal on the table in half an hour to an hour because my recipes are quick and easy. It's also nice that I've finally been able to have an income from sharing recipes and enjoying it so much. I want to thank you for sharing your experiences and your heart with the avid readers who love your blog. I'm a huge fan!
Debi ~ QuicheMyGrits
Wow, Brandie. I stumbled across this post and now I have tears streaming down my face! I can so relate to everything you've written about. The people pleaser thing is real for me too. Maybe that's why I started a blog as well. I hear all of the same things you do...'when will you write a cookbook?', 'how do you make money?' 'do you really like this blogging thing you do?" And, I find myself feeling exactly like you. I'm happy in my little world...doing what I love...and that's enough. I don't want to be Miss Blog America! Thanks for being brave and putting your feelings into words so I could feel good about where I am on my own blogging journey. We are enough...exactly where we are! 🙂
Donna
I know exactly what you are talking about. I've had so many people tell me to open a restaurant because my food is that good...if they only knew. I have worked in restaurants and hated every minute of it. My dream job is to work out of my home. Doing what, who knows, I love to cook and bake, but for people no...
One day God will reveal it all to me. You keep doing what makes you happy and not worry about what others think...lots of love from Nonny's Kitchen.
Ronni S.
Hi Brandie! I am very new to your blog as I stumbled across it today looking for shrimp recipes. My journey started at 5am and I've been here off and on all day. Love, Love, Love your blog.
I'm ending my day on this entry because your words have given me some things to seriously think about. Being a people pleaser my entire life, I often find myself feeling horrible at the end of the day when things don't go exactly right, or even when someone gets upset with me over little things. I always thought it was just me. How wrong I was.
Please know that I have thoroughly enjoyed my time here today. I have saved a years worth of recipes to try and I will definitely be back for more.
Melissa B
Hey Brandie. Thank you so much for this blog. I originally was looking for strawberry banana smoothie recipe and was 'led' to read your blog of why you do not have a published cookbook. The deeper the blog got, the more emotional I got. I too am an introvert and have felt like I hadn't been enough in my 18 years of marriage. But I AM ENOUGH IN GOD'S EYES. I thank HIM for sending you my way in the form of your delicious recipes and blog. You are a way that God speaks to us through your blog. I have no clue how my near future will go, but it's time to do me..... Melissa. Because I am enough to others out there. God bless you Brandie. Love you!
Brandie @ The Country Cook
Oh Melissa - you sincerely touched my hart. I can't thank you enough for sharing your heart with me. It truly means so much and you'll never know I much I appreciate your kind words and thoughtfulness! You are so much more than enough - even when you don't feel it sometimes. God's got this. He always does. We just aren't always patient enough to see it happening. Big hugs and love to you!!
Michele
Hey Brandie!
I feel like we'd be besties. I haven't even read this post yet - excited to though. I think I've printed/saved like every recipe almost.
I love them and your style. I'll probably have more to say when I can actually read this (currently at work - short lunch break).
Just wanted to say Hey!
Bilkisu from Northern Nigeria
I wanted to simply hit you with an "I love you, sis!", This article is great, this mindset is great. Right on!
Brandie @ The Country Cook
Awww thank you so much Bilkisu!
Doris
Hi Brandie!
How I resonate with your feelings .. always trying to please my Mother , didn't finish college, doing things to please others and wondering ... am I destined to be nobody? Well, damn sure I am not! I love cooking , collect recipes (my you have a slew I am printing off today). I believe in being true to one's self. I live my truth every single day . I am a two time breast cancer survivor after 27 years . I was put on this earth for a reason .. we all were. It's people like you that make me smile every day! I am about to make your cole slaw right now. You are valuable and loving to your friends and family , which is all that should matter. Let's be kinder and supportive to one another as the world is going through much suffering as I type this to you. My next on the list of your recipes? I may be a city girl from Brooklyn NY. but I am known as the pound cake gal and baker. Your Pecan pound cake looks amazing! Cheers to you and keep on blogging. Love your grit and your insight.
kelly Lambert
I am so happy that I found your post today. It helped me a great deal to know that other people feel the same way I do. I love God, my children, my husband , and am so happy and excited to be a grandma. God bless you for giving me the inspiration I needed today, not only with your words, but also some of your yummy recipes Thank you for being you!.
Brandie @ The Country Cook
Thank you so very much Kelly! You blessed me with your comment! Much love to you!!
Russ Gladden
I like you, and also I am like you, in a number of ways. I stumbled onto your blog looking on Pinterest for a slow-cooker macaroni and cheese recipe this Thanksgiving Day, and I am thankful that I did. I have subscribed and I will be back, many times. Thank you for being a blogger, something you do very well. I can't wait to try more of your recipes--I think Sweet and Sour Meatballs are coming up quite soon! Happy Thanksgiving!
Brandie @ The Country Cook
What a lovely comment, Russ! Thank you so very much! I hope I can bring you lots more recipes that you will love!
Michele
To Brandie From Michele
It is only human nature to somewhat care what others think of us and if we truly did not care at all, then we would not be human. The key word is "somewhat". The key of importance is to realize that God created us all as individuals so we are not meant to be like others or to follow in others footsteps. We are meant to follow our own path and be comfortable knowing that the path we choose is the path that God laid out for us to follow. Please embrace your individual uniqueness and thank the good lord for allowing you to finally find peace in being exactly who you are meant to be. Wishing you the very best. Also, thank you for taking the time to share your wonderful recipes! Keep on celebrating the woman that you are !!!
Linda Brawner
Hey brandie,
I am quite a bit older than you but have spent my life trying to be someone I am not. What I am is a child of God, a wife and mother, and a believer and doer of good. I want to thank you for validating my life.
I do enjoy reading your recipes, sometimes I try them!
I appreciate your work and your honesty.
Blessings to you and yours.
Brandie @ The Country Cook
Hi Linda! Oh gracious, your comment brought me to tears! I think so many of us deal with a lifetime of not feeling good enough. Always trying to live up to others expectations of us and inevitably failing. When we finally let go of others expectations of us and just love ourselves for who we are and where we are now - life becomes SO much more enjoyable and worth living!! Thank you for taking the time to comment. I really appreciate it!!
Bari
I have used quite a few of your recipes I am right now cooling your cheesecake on the counter. I’m a bit late but I just wanted to ask are you my sister !!!!! So well written, so honest, and so valid for so many women young and old. I thank you for your courage and your GREAT RECIPES! Keep up the great work and thank you for all of your hard work and wonderful stories.